No Regrets
by Haitus80
Summary: Distance makes the heart grow fonder. It was true, even though that hadn't been his intentions. This is pretty much just a season 4 wish I suppose. You never know! Stranger things have happened! In case you didn't know, this is a Caryl fic. If you don't like the pairing then skip this story!


**I think maybe I should start a drabble story or something since I always seem to come up with these one shot ideas. I wish this would happen on the show. That's all this is. A season four wish I suppose. I enjoyed writing it so I hope you enjoy reading it! I hope I'm not the only one out there that is a nervous wreck over a T.V. show. I have no nails left. Hope you all had a great weekend and thank you for reading =)**

**Smut warning! In case that isn't your thing ;)**

**No Regrets**

"Do you love her?"

Daryl didn't answer. He stared out at the expanse of yard they had managed to win back from the walkers months before. He wasn't sure why he didn't answer. The first thing out of his mouth should have been no. Two years ago he would have told Rick to go fuck himself for asking him something like that. A year ago he would have told him no.

Today he said nothing. Not a muscle in his face even twitched. Rick wasn't the first person to ask him this. Rick was just the only person he wouldn't knock off the guard tower for pressing the issue. Needless to say, Rick was aware of this himself so Daryl wasn't a bit taken aback when Rick pressed on. Always the dutiful mediator.

"You haven't talked to her in a while. I've seen her try. She still brings you food. She still makes sure you're taken care of before anyone else. That has to mean something."

Daryl draped his arms over the railing and his eyes zeroed in on the woman whom Rick was talking about. She was hanging up wet clothes, laughing at something one of the other women was saying. She did that a lot. Laughed. Smiled. Hummed to herself while she was doing one mundane chore or another. She seemed content. More than that though really. She was happy. He should have been happy that she was happy. But as much as it made his chest ache to think about it, he wasn't the reason for the change in her so he found misery in that happiness.

"She asked about you yesterday on watch. She misses you," Rick droned on.

Daryl kept his mouth sealed and tried to tune out what Rick was saying. He was tired of thinking about it. He was tired of wondering about it. He was tired. Very tired.

"I switched some shifts around. You and her have night duty together tonight."

Okay. That was about all he could handle. He turned his head sharply and glared. Surely he could throw the son of a bitch off and make it look like an accident. "What," he growled. It wasn't a question.

Rick was looking in the same direction he had been looking a few seconds ago. Watching her move about down below. He didn't look at Daryl when he answered. "It's already been arranged."

"She ain't gonna like that. Neither am I. What the hell is wrong with you?" he was about to leave the guard tower, the only one left standing, and let the asshole spend the rest of the afternoon talking to himself.

"She's the one that asked me if I could switch. Glenn was more than happy to oblige." He finally looked over. "You have to resolve whatever it is that's going on with the two of you," he said firmly.

Daryl shook his head. "Ain't nothing to resolve, Rick. And it ain't nobodies goddamn business, he added silently.

Rick's face grew hard and he stood up too, facing Daryl and pinning him to the spot with a penetrating gaze. "You don't get it do you?" he asked between clenched teeth. "Do you know how many months I wasted? My wife..." Rick's voice trailed off and he took in a shaky breath. "All that time I spent thinkin' there would be more time. All the things I could have said to her. Things I needed to say and she needed to hear and I didn't even try. I shut her out and I pushed her away and then she was gone," his voice was hushed but his words cut Daryl like a knife. He looked away, shaking his head still.

"What is it exactly you think I need to say? She ain't mine."

"That was your decision, not hers," Rick countered, eyes still locked on Daryl's. His mouth was set in a grim line.

Daryl shook his head. "It wasn't anybodies goddamn decision. It just is."

Rick looked unconvinced as his eyes once again looked down at the yard, ever vigilant. Daryl followed his gaze. He was right and it made Daryl sick to admit it even to himself. After the Governors attack and Merle's death him and Carol had grown even closer. She was the one that guided him through that dark place he went to after Merle was gone.

It had gotten to the point where she was the first thing that popped into his head when he woke up and was the last thing on his mind before he went to sleep. He was distracted every minute of every day because his eyes were always scanning the area she was occupying, looking for threats, looking for dangers, guarding her like she was some kind of sacred thing that he couldn't force himself to even fathom losing.

It hadn't been a conscious thing. He hadn't given it much thought at all. It was just something that burned inside him, low and constant. He had to keep her safe. He had to keep her alive. He couldn't let anything happen to _her_.

He moved into the cell next to hers. They ate together. She saw him off when he went on runs or hunts. She brought his food to him when he was on watch, she washed his clothes, she sat with him and talked about every fucking thing she could think of on those nights where sleep eluded him. When he wasn't busy he had spent his time with her.

He had protected her. He had made sure she didn't skip out on any meals. He made sure she was warm when it was cold and he kept an eye on the others to make sure no one gave her any grief about anything. The two of them created this safe place between them. A kind of sanctuary. A haven where things were brighter, better, safer. He never wondered what it all meant. It was just what they had became. No one questioned it and he didn't question it himself.

He had been on watch one night a few months ago. It was a night like any other, or so he thought. She brought him dinner and sat cross legged on the floor with her back pressed against the door as he ate. Keeping him company like she usually did. Everything was fine, until she had told him about the run.

_"I'm going out with Tyreese and Karen when they go on that run tomorrow," she said with a sigh. "I haven't left the prison in ages."_

He had been unable to swallow the bite of food he had been chewing. Panic started clawing it's way up his chest. She was stronger now. She was capable. She was able to protect herself and others. But he wasn't going on that run tomorrow. He had to help Rick fix a breach and Tyreese was the one leading the run.

It was that moment he had realized exactly what she was to him. Somehow, in the midst of everything that had happened to them as a group, she had become the one thing that he couldn't face losing. The thought of losing her made him sick. But he couldn't tell her that. He couldn't tell her she couldn't go. He couldn't tell her that she needed to keep her ass right there behind the gates so he would know she was safe. He had no claim on her.

He had to stop. He had to cut whatever it was between them and distance himself before something happened to her and it was the blow that would finally end him. He couldn't go through that. So he had swallowed down the food he'd barely chewed and nodded.

She talked a little but she must have realized that there was a shift in him because she didn't linger like she usually had done. She had gone on her run. They had came back safe. And he had wordlessly ended whatever it was they had built between the two of them. Just like that, he was adrift. That haven no longer existed and instead of something safe she became a constant source of pain for him.

"You never answered my question," Rick said, yanking him from his reverie.

Daryl looked away, once again his eyes finding her without him even telling them too.

"You know it isn't to late to let her know. The only thing you're doing is hurting yourself by letting her go like that."

"Like I said. She ain't mine," he was determined to keep this up. He was sure in time he would be able to actually let her go in his mind.

Rick sat back down, legs dangling over the edge of the tower, as his arms looped through the railing once more. Daryl did the same and the afternoon wore on in silence.

What Rick wasn't understanding was, it _was_ too late. He knew it was too late. One of the Woodbury men had set his sights on her and now the asshole was with her more often than not. Daryl had moved back to the perch and the guy had moved into the cell he had abandoned. She had someone else around to keep her company. He wasn't a bad guy but Daryl hated him all the same.

She still brought him his food but she never lingered. She always had a smile for him when he came back after a hunt. She just seemed to accept that he was pulling away and this time she didn't seem like she wanted to bother to stop him. Probably because she was distracted by her new friend.

He eventually stood up and wordlessly left the tower. Rick had his head all messed up talking about Lori. Daryl knew the guy was always going to have to live with that regret and he couldn't help but wonder if he was really being as stupid as Rick had been when it came to Carol.

Did he love her? He shook his head angrily. There wasn't time for things like that anymore. There wasn't enough left of himself to give. If she wanted him it was only because she was selling herself short. She would be settling for something that was already broken. He always had been. It was a struggle, still, after all this time, to have normal relationships with people. It was a struggle to trust others not to hurt him somehow.

He stopped when he was about halfway to the prison door. He could feel Rick's eyes boring into his back as she walked towards him, seeming to appear out of thin air. It was spring so the weather was about perfect. Not too hot and no chill in the air. It never lasted long enough but it felt good now. She was wearing jeans and a tank top and a look on her face that he hadn't seen before. She didn't look angry really, but it was something... different.

"Foods ready if you're hungry," she said as she walked right by him. No hello. No how are you. Nothing. No pause in her stride as she passed him. Not a smile to be seen.

He turned and watched her walking away towards the tower, something like dread settling low in his gut. "Hey!" he called out before he put much thought into what he would say to her when she turned.

She stopped. She didn't turn around but there was a slight tilt to her head that made him think she was waiting for him to say something else. He pressed on, for some reason feeling panicked like he had the night she had told him she was going on a run.

"Did you have Rick switch people out so you could get guard duty tonight?" he asked, not knowing why he had to put that edge in his tone. Like he was accusing instead of asking her.

She took a deep breath and let it out slowly before she turned around to face him fully. There was about twenty feet separating them and they weren't the only two people in the yard. He glanced up and saw Rick watching them before he looked back at her.

"Is that okay with you?" she asked, not sounding angry but still not sounding quite like herself either.

He shifted the bow so it sat higher up on his shoulder. "Don't see why you'd want the graveyard shift," he said loudly so she would hear him. He felt more eyes on him now and he hated it. Why the hell was she just standing there? He figured she wasn't going to move so he did, closing the distance so the others couldn't hear their conversation.

"I just thought that it'd be nice to talk to you," she said, quieter now.

He narrowed his eyes and he noticed that when he did she narrowed her own, like she was challenging him.

"Does that bother you?" she asked, that challenge clear in her words.

He wasn't sure what he was suppose to say so he didn't say anything at all. What was she trying to pull? She asked Rick to put her with him tonight and now she was acting all weird about it. He was almost sure that she had herself a boyfriend now so it didn't make much sense for her to want to spend any time with him. It might complicate her love life. "Your new man ain't gonna be bothered about you switchin' shifts?"

The corner of her mouth turned up at that and she crossed her arms over her chest. "Why would it? You plan on pinning me against the wall up there and having your way with me? Since there was so much of that going on before you decided to act like I don't exist? It's watch, Daryl. Just like old times."

His mouth dropped open and he felt the blood rush to his face. What in the hell had gotten into her?

Her eyebrows shot up. "I'll see you later, Daryl." She turned around and took off towards the tower again like their little exchange had never even happened.

The thing he couldn't get out of his head was the fact that she didn't deny that she had a man. He had assumed but he had never came out and asked her and he had never came out and accused her. He had no right too. What she did or who she did was her business. He had no claim on her. So why was he still watching her walk away? And he still hadn't shut his mouth. He did that quickly and with a grimace he turned and stormed off towards the doors.

_**Four hours later...**_

It was nearing seven o'clock and he needed to get some sleep. He had been trying for a while now but for some reason he couldn't. Maybe because he was wired from earlier. They had paired off and went further into the tombs than they had ever gone before. Somehow he had been teamed up with Carol. That wasn't some random call because when Glenn and Maggie had called off the pairs they had shared a knowing look with one another right before they said their names.

Daryl didn't know why Rick had given those two the job but Rick said it was their call and their plan so he didn't argue. Carol seemed to be just as annoyed as he was at the call, which pissed him off even more. It had been pretty easy for a while. They knew each other well enough where they didn't have to say much to convey any messages. They killed together like it was the most natural thing in the world.

It had been easy but any time they went deeper into the prison to rid the place of those putrid bastards he rode an adrenalin high for hours after. He must have dosed off eventually because the next thing he knew he was being jarred awake by the last damn person in the world he wanted to look at at the moment.

His name was Bill and it was the son of a bitch that had moved into the cell next to Carol. Usually the guy, probably because of a sixth sense for self preservation, avoided Daryl like the plague. They didn't speak. They didn't even look at each other. Daryl launched himself off the makeshift bed and glared at the man. Bill put his hands up and took a step back.

"Sorry, man. Carol sent me up here to tell you it was time for your shift."

Daryl felt himself scowl at the sound of her name. The guy turned and, with a shake of his head, walked off towards the stairs.

He didn't take long getting ready. All he had to do was grab his bow and he was making his way towards the exit when a hand on his shoulder had him spinning around. Glenn was standing there, Maggie at his side as usual.

"Are you two going to work this out tonight?" Glenn asked, not seeming to care that Daryl was about five seconds away from putting a bolt into his ass cheek.

He played the silent card just like he had with Rick earlier, causing Maggie to roll her eyes.

"You really are an idiot, ya know that?" she hissed.

He opened his mouth to say something but he closed it again once she shot him one more angry look and turned, pulling Glenn along behind her. Jesus, he was glad he'd never end up like that poor kid. He had never seen a man so whipped in his life. It was damn pathetic.

He stomped up the tower steps and noisily made his way through the door, out onto the walk. She was there already, of course. She glanced over her shoulder and adjusted the rifle on her back.

"Glad you made it," she said with a small smile.

He grunted and then walked over to the other side, he wasn't going to make this easy on her, whatever it was she had planned. She had him trapped up here for the next few hours but she could stay on her side and he would stay on his. He looked out into the darkness and strained his ears for the sound of her footsteps that he was almost sure he would hear approach from behind.

When five minutes passed he was scowling again. Was she really just going to stay over there all damn night? But wasn't that the whole reason he had left her standing there on the other side of the tower to begin with? He couldn't walk away from her and then get pissed off when she didn't follow him around. He realized then that that was exactly what was happening and that made the scowl on his face deepen. The hell was he thinking?

He made a conscious decision then to go ahead and go back to her side. She was the one that had claimed to want to spend time with him. He'd do what he had to do to get through the night and then he would go right back to keeping his distance. He kept telling himself that as he leaned against the wall a few feet behind her as she braced her arms on the railing and looked out. He knew she couldn't see anything but she looked on in silence anyway, acting like she was totally absorbed with the blackness that stretched out in front of them.

"For somebody that went out of their way to get her ass up here tonight you sure as hell ain't got a whole lot to say," he grumbled.

She shrugged lightly, pale moonlight reflecting off her shoulders. He averted his eyes, losing himself in that blackness that apparently fascinated the hell out of her.

He nearly jumped out of his skin when she suddenly spun around to face him. That small distance that separated them filling up with an angry tension he hadn't realized was even there until she was facing him.

"Tell me," she demanded, crossing her arms in front of her.

He frowned. She looked more pissed off than he had ever seen her before but there was an unmistakable hint of hurt in her voice. "Tell you what?" he asked, keeping his own voice even and devoid of any emotion.

"What I did wrong? Why you won't speak to me. What did I do?"

His tongue felt dry. Her voice was strong and filled with anger but even in the dim moonlight he could see that her eyes were shining. It had been a long time since he had seen her cry. He hated it. And what he hated the most was that he didn't have anything to say to her to make the tears disappear. This was what he wanted to avoid. He didn't want to give a shit that she was hurting but he did. And knowing that he was the reason she was in pain caused him to want to kick his own ass. She had known too much hurt in her life.

She stood there looking at him for a long time and he was surprised that he didn't look away from her. "Can you just tell me? I'm not saying you owe me an explanation but I feel like I need one. I thought it would go away and you would snap out of it but you haven't and I don't think you're going too. I'll leave you be if you just tell me why."

He still just stood there. It wasn't that he was unwilling to say anything. He just couldn't bring himself to say it. How could he explain to her that it wasn't really her? It was him. That was about the stupidest thing a man could ever say to a woman. Even he knew that but that was the truth.

A sad smile graced her lips as her arms fell to her sides. She shook her head and finally looked away. "You know what, it's fine. You don't have to say anything. I just..." she took in a shaky breath and shook her head. "Never mind. This was a bad idea."

She went to step around him to open the door but he stayed where he was. "You just what?" he asked, his voice quiet but firm. He shouldn't have asked. He really didn't want to know. All this was going to do was make it harder to stay away from her.

She looked up and wiped away a stray tear. "I miss you. That's all I wanted to say. In case you didn't know."

He blinked. As stupid as it sounded he really hadn't known. She seemed just fine. At first she had shown the patience she had always showed and then after she became as close as she was to Bill she seemed to not only have accepted the fact that he wasn't going to snap out of it, but she was happy regardless.

He didn't know that she was actually hurting because of it. Because of him. And what could he do about it? Did he throw caution to the wind and go right back to that place they had been before she had mentioned that run to him, forcing him to realize how much was at stake if he lost her? Could he do that?

He thought of the things that Rick had said to him earlier. All that time he had wasted when he could have just talked to his wife and then in the blink of an eye it was over. She was gone and nothing was going to bring her back. That regret had crippled Rick. The loss of Lori had devastated the man but the regret was what had driven him mad.

As if it had a mind of it's own his hand made its way up to her face, his thumb brushing away the wetness. She leaned into his hand. It was such a small gesture on both of their parts but it was all it took to wipe away the progress he had made over the past few months. He had held fast to self preservation. He had kept his distance and refused to listen to reason thinking that he was protecting himself. He hadn't even let himself realize that he missed her.

But he had. Just because he didn't let himself feel it didn't mean that it hadn't been there. It was still there. Her being as close as she was now made him feel good again. Another thing he hadn't even noticed. Things felt off kilter when she wasn't around. So now he was in a real tough spot. The need to keep himself away from her warring with the need to get closer than they were before.

This thought stopped him short because it came out of no where. He didn't want to be what they were before because he had been wasting time then too. Another realization that had him feeling like he was balanced on some sort of precipice. When she had mentioned going on that run and he had felt that panic he hadn't been sure where it had come from. Assuming he was simply afraid of losing her and not being able to cope with that was easy.

The hard thing to admit, the thing that he hadn't even let himself fathom, was that if something had happened to her that day, the day she went on the run, he, too, would have to live the rest of his life with regret. Regret that he still, after all the things they had been through, kept her at arms length. Never letting himself really feel for her what had been there all along. And _that_ was the thing he was really running from.

He never understood what the hell people were talking about when they mentioned things like epiphanies. But he was pretty sure that's what this was. And she was right there and his hand was still on her face and she still had that sad lost look in her eyes and that precipice seemed to grow smaller and smaller until he had no choice at all but to fall. It was one side or the other.

He was all in or he was all out and he had but a few seconds to make a decision and it scared the shit out of him. Pull her closer and risk it all or push her away and possibly shatter anything she felt for him.

The hand that wasn't on her face balled up into a fist at his side and he swallowed hard. Something changed in the way she looked at him, her eyes growing wider as she took in the expression on his face. He had no idea what she saw but she moved away from his hand and took a step forward, closing the small distance that was separating them.

He unclenched his fist, and placed a shaking hand lightly on her hip. This was stupid. What the hell was he doing? He was about to fuck everything up even more than he already had and he had managed to hurt her pretty bad, he knew that now. He didn't know what he was doing. He didn't know how to be with someone who he actually cared about. It wouldn't be fair to her if he messed up and he always messed up.

The hand that had cupped her face was somehow gripping the side of her neck. His head was slightly bent and he didn't remember doing that either. There was barely any space left between them. Her head was angled up like she was waiting for him to make a decision and he couldn't make it.

"Are you gonna tell me what I did wrong?" she whispered.

She was so close that her warm breath ghosted across his face like a caress. She hadn't done anything. He didn't know what to say and he didn't know what to do so he just stopped thinking about it and finally moved his head those last few inches until his lips brushed across hers.

Hers were soft but unresponsive, causing him to think that he had just made a very huge and embarrassing mistake. He had forgotten all about what she had been up too for the last few months. He had forgotten all about Bill. For some reason, like the raging moron that he was, he hadn't thought about what would happen if she didn't actually want him to kiss her.

He moved his head back, almost ready to tell her to just go when suddenly his back was slammed almost painfully into the door of the tower. He grunted from the impact but it was lost when suddenly her lips were on his again. This time there was nothing light about it at all. This wasn't just her lips brushing against his. This was a full blown kiss and it took him all of two seconds to respond to it.

He was a lot of things. He was a great shot. He was a decent provider. He was loyal. He was a skilled hunter and he was better equipped than most to survive this world. He had many great qualities that he hadn't even realized until he had found himself an important part of this group. But he knew he lacked in certain areas. This area in particular.

His harsh personality never seemed to go over well when it came to the opposite sex. Where Merle could turn on the charm, even if just long enough to get a piece of ass, that was a skill that Daryl Dixon had not learned from his brother.

But none of that seemed to matter at the moment because when he felt the warm tip of her tongue trace his bottom lip he stopped thinking about his lack of knowledge and let some primal part of him snap into action. He could do this. She wasn't giving him a choice but to do this really. She actually had him pressed into the wall and somehow her hands were in his hair.

She kissed him like it was the most natural thing in the world for her to do, coaxing him into deepening the kiss himself. When he heard her make a satisfied sound in the back of her throat he let his hands slide up her shirt, gripping her sides roughly as he forced her back enough so he could change their positions. Even though a part of him actually enjoyed being roughed up by Carol Peletier there was no way in hell he was going to be caught in that position by anyone who happened to glance up.

He wasn't sure what exactly it was that this meant for them but he was sure that they needed to stop. For now anyway. Things were always calm at night behind the fence but anything could happen and he couldn't risk someone getting hurt because of them.

But she seemed to be everywhere at once. Her hands were pressed against his chest and somehow his shirt was open. She bit his bottom lip gently and it was like a jolt of electricity ran up his spine. Her fingers ran up to cup the sides of his neck and he knew that she would feel his pulse hammering hard under her palm.

This was what he had been afraid of?

He felt the shirt slide off his shoulders but he couldn't focus on that because her mouth had left his and was now working down his jaw and was heading towards his ear. When he felt her teeth nip his earlobe his hand shot out next to her head and he leaned on it heavily. He made some sort of pathetic sound when she did it again, a little harder this time.

Oh hell.

He had to make her stop doing that. He grabbed a fist full of hair and jerked her head back, not too roughly but rough enough to cause her to gasp. He found her lips again and this seemed to get her attention. But it didn't help him with his dilemma. Not at all. He couldn't think straight at all. He knew that they needed to stop. They needed to talk.

What?

Where the hell had that come from? He didn't _talk_. People had been trying to talk to him about her for a long time now and he didn't want anything to do with it. Talk? He would have cursed himself out loud if his lips weren't preoccupied at the moment. Very preoccupied. Come to think of it, so were his hands, which were moving from her sides down to her hips. He was on watch. He needed to watch. He needed to stop this so he could get his head straight.

But his body had other plans. That part of him wanted nothing to do with any plans that involved him letting go of her. No, that was not an option at this point. Even with a voice screaming in his head to stop he grabbed her, lifting her up and trapping her between himself and the wall. Instantly her legs wrapped around his waist and if she hadn't noticed his arousal before, she definitely had no choice but to notice it now.

When her nails dug into his shoulders he moved his mouth away, pressing his forehead against hers and trying to catch his breath and clear his head at the same time.

"We gotta keep watch," he said huskily, barely recognizing his own voice.

She was looking down, breathing heavily and he thought, or hoped, that she would argue. But she didn't. At first.

"Okay," she breathed and looked up, her eyes wide. She gave him a sly smile and let go of his shoulders... and stripped off her tank top. She smiled and then bit her lip, watching him with an excited gleam in her eye.

He kept his cool. Okay. Not really, but he liked to think that he was the type of man who would keep his cool in this situation so he held back and asked the obvious. "What the hell are ya doin'?" he asked as his hand slid up her side again and then brushed his thumb across the peak of her breast. The touch was feather light but her body instantly reacted accordingly. So did his. He had to force back a smile when she exhaled heavily.

He came to the conclusion that there wasn't any stopping this now. This was going to happen whether he was ready for it or not. Physically, he was beyond ready. He was so ready that he was in pain. Emotionally, this was going to be something that he might need days to come to terms with. He pulled back and she unlocked her legs from around his waist. She looked unsure of herself now as soon as her feet hit the floor.

She looked down but he caught her chin with his finger and tilted her head back up. She met his eyes then and he was asking himself why the fuck he had ever thought that he could stay away from her. He didn't expect her to say anything at all, but he hadn't expected anything that had happened tonight.

"I thought you hated me," she whispered.

He flinched at the words and then shook his head. "I fucked up. Get used to it."

The smile that lit her face was a breathtaking thing. His lips met hers again and his hands went to the button on her jeans. She accepted the Daryl version of an apology with zeal, pulling his face closer and kissing him harder. His shaking hands fumbled with the button but he finally got it.

Then he froze. What the hell was he about to do? He couldn't do this! Not here. Not now.

She must have realized that he was seriously thinking about bolting out the door because she shook her head almost angrily and then slipped her hand right down the waistband of his pants. They were just loose enough for her small hand to slip through and then that hand had a firm grip on him.

He growled into her mouth and grabbed her by the wrist. Okay. No running. Not now, anyway. Definitely not now. He pulled her hand away, like he needed any extra stimulation at the moment. She was going to kill him for sure. He managed to ease her down without breaking the kiss and her arms instantly wrapped around his neck.

He wasn't too worried about getting spotted from down below since they weren't on the side that faced the prison. There would be someone down below walking the perimeter but it was too dark for them to be seen by whoever was down there. As long as no one came up to check on them they were fine. So, knowing that the night was calm and they weren't going to be busted he started wrestling her jeans down her legs while maintaining that insanely hot kiss. It wasn't easy but eventually he had them off.

His heart was hammering frantically and he knew his palms were sweating something awful and he knew that this was probably going to be a complete fucking fail, but he couldn't stop now, especially when she managed to actually free him from his pants.

After an embarrassing amount of time and a few fumbles he was out of them, giving them one more kick before he was rid of them completely. He glanced back over his shoulder.

Ooops.

His swift kick had sent Carol's pants and his own shirt over the edge. Oh shit.

He was about to say something but she shifted under him and suddenly he was pressed right up against her. She stopped squirming and he felt his eyes grow wide in the dark. This was crazy. Absolutely crazy. He was naked on a guard tower of a prison in the dark in the middle of the apocalypse. He asked himself what he was doing once again but then he met her eyes.

He was doing what he should have been doing a long time ago. This was where he needed to be. Not necessarily naked and lying between a woman's legs on a guard tower. But he needed to be with her, wherever she was and if they just so happened to be naked wherever they were then so be it. He could deal with that. He could definitely deal with that.

He still didn't make a move, frozen in place and on the verge of panic once more he stayed right where he was. She smiled and pulled his face down so she could kiss him again and then to his surprise she angled her hips and then used his shoulders as leverage to move until he was almost there. With a huge shaky breath he moved his hips forward, entering her slowly. The breath he was holding left him loudly as he eased himself deeper, her body resisting at first but then relaxing slightly when he stopped moving altogether, giving her time to get used to him. He actually had to take the time to gather his own wits because this was something he hadn't expected. She wrapped around him, hot and wet and with a grip that rivaled the one her hand had on him earlier.

When he did finally move it was hesitant at first but she seemed to be adjusting to him pretty well because, even though he kept his movements slow, for his own good, he had no choice but to kiss her before whoever was below them heard her. She wasn't an obnoxious screamer or anything but sounds, even the small moans that escaped her, would most likely carry out here and he wasn't willing to risk someone coming up here to check on the source of the sounds.

Her hands traced the contours of his chest lingering on long healed scars. The kiss matched his pace, slow and easy. There was nothing rushed or frantic about it at all and it was fitting for them since everything that had led them to this moment had happened at a snails pace. And if he moved any faster this would end quickly. He had managed to keep himself in control so far. He didn't want to blow it.

He ran a calloused hand up the back of her thigh, raising her leg higher, reveling in the feel of her smooth skin against his. He raised his head when a small cry escaped her lips, muffled by his mouth. He clenched his teeth when he felt a strange flutter deep inside her and she tightened around him.

"Oh wow," she whimpered a bit, her eyes massive and frantic as she bit her lip to keep her mouth shut.

"Fuck," he grunted when the muscles stopped tightening and instead started to actually coil around him, moving along the length of him, bringing a whole new level of pleasure to this that he found much to hard to fight through with will power alone.

"Daryl!"

Oh fuck, that was loud. She couldn't be loud. Every damn person in the prison knew his name already. Nobody needed to hear her screaming it. Or did they? He was close, but it was pretty damn obvious that she was beyond close so he changed up the pace and slammed into her harder and faster than before, bringing her leg up over his shoulder so he was able to go deeper still.

This time there was no holding back. His name ripped out of her mouth and they would be lucky if she hadn't woken the entire place up. He was beyond caring at this point because at this angle he could feel even more of her and it only took him a few seconds longer to join her. He buried his face between her neck and shoulder and bit down lightly as he came, shocked at the intensity of it and unable to hold back the growl that ripped up his throat.

He didn't stop until he knew that it was over for her as well and still he didn't move away. He probably should have. She would definitely have some explaining to do now since someone heard. Someone had to have heard all of that. He didn't regret what they had just done but she had technically cheated on somebody and that somebody, thanks to Daryl, would know all about it. Jesus, why had he let her get so loud? He could have easily shut her up but he had wanted it. His name on her lips, not anyone elses. He hadn't just wanted it. It was a need. But now the whole goddamn place probably knew what they had done and that was something he didn't want to deal with.

Not that he wasn't impressed with himself. She was damn lucky he hadn't gotten off in his pants as soon as she had touched him, which was what he was almost sure was going to happen. But it hadn't. And she had obviously liked it. And now everybody he had to look at every single day knew all about it.

He lifted himself up, bracing himself on his arms and he stared down at her, his expression that of a man that was sated and annoyed at the same time. "You got a big mouth," he said in a low voice.

"Mmm, and you liked it," she grinned.

He snorted and moved out of her but not away from her. He settled back down between her legs and kissed her like he had kissed her before, slow and lazy. When he raised his head again he hated to burst her bubble because she looked extremely happy at the moment. But he was going to burst it anyway. "You know your boyfriend is gonna find out about this, if he ain't already." He studied her expression carefully and his heart sank when she actually did look away from him guiltily.

"About that..."

He frowned when she looked at him again. She didn't look guilty anymore. She looked damn smug about something. "What?" he growled.

"He isn't my boyfriend, Daryl. He's a friend."

He scowled. "What the fuck do you think I am? You really think I'm that stupid?" Now he was pissed. She was lying right to his face but when he went to pull away she locked her arms around his neck. He glared at her. He almost felt... used. She'd used him for... sex! And now she was lying right to his face about not having boyfriend. Who the fuck was this woman and what had she done with_ his_ Carol? This wasn't her. Not the woman he knew.

"Daryl, Bill don't like me like that. He doesn't like any of the women that way. He's gay. We talked about you and he told me not to worry about it because you would come around if you thought you would lose me someone else. And all this time I thought he was an idiot. But it worked."

He stared at her for a long time. She was telling the truth. He could see it in her face, even in the dim light. She had tricked him. He wasn't sure if getting tricked into sex was any better than simply being used for it. He felt... dirty. And there was a part of him that always liked being dirty. "You tricked me into fucking you?"

Her eyes went wide and her mouth opened with an audible pop. "No I did not!" she pushed at his chest but he didn't move.

"Yes you did," he accused. "You made me think that you didn't give a shit and then you made Rick switch around the shifts so you could get me up here alone knowin' that I would eventually try to set things straight with you."

She was the one glaring now. "You are ridiculous! That has to be the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my life. I missed you! You acted like I didn't exist anymore and I needed to know why. I didn't do all that for... that!"

He was really just trying to get a rise out of her but he was finished having his fun with her. He was starting to feel bad again so he did something that he was starting to think he wouldn't be able to get enough of. He kissed her. Partially because he hated to think of how bad he had probably hurt her and partially because he wanted her to shut up. He didn't want her asking questions. But she would because she was Carol and Carol never knew when to shut up.

Sure enough as soon as he broke the kiss and was about to move to grab his pants she stopped him. "Will you please tell me why you've been acting like you have?" she almost pleaded.

He grew very still, Rick's question running through his mind. He never answered it but in all reality that was the reason he had pulled away. He loved her. He had for a long time and it had scared the hell out of him. But he couldn't see himself saying it. He could show her. He would show her every goddamn day for the rest of his life if she would let him but there was something about voicing it that had his palms sweating more than they were before they had done it.

"It's just a question, Daryl. There has to be a reason. If I did something or said something I need to know what it was so I won't have to go through this again. I can't go through this again.

He wasn't sure why but suddenly Rick's words flitted through his brain as he looked at her.

_"All that time I spent thinkin' there would be more time. All the things I could have said to her. Things I needed to say and she needed to hear and I didn't even try. I shut her out and I pushed her away and then she was gone."_

He swallowed hard and took a deep breath. "Cause I'm a pussy. I bitched out," he said in a low voice. He shrugged slightly.

She frowned. "What?"

He blew the breath out heavily. "You said you was goin' on that run and the only thing I was thinkin' was you might not come back. I thought if I just blew you off then I'd be able to stop givin' a fuck about you and then if somethin' happened I'd get through it."

Realization had her relaxing under him and she gave him a small smile. "I never thought I would hear those words come out of your mouth. You're the most romantic man on earth."

"What?" He was scowling at the mention of romance. She was crazy.

"You give a fuck about me. It's sweet." Her smile grew.

_"All that time I spent thinkin' there would be more time."_

"I love you." The timbre of his voice almost made it sound like he was saying this to her grudgingly.

Now she was the one staring at him. He felt the heat rise in his face, the tips of his ears burning. Why the fuck was she just looking at him like a dumbass?

"I love you too," she said it quietly with much more conviction than he had.

He gave her a swift nod, like they had made some sort of formal agreement to love one another and then he reached behind him and grabbed his pants before rolling off of her. He felt good. Better than that. He felt like shit just might work out. He was embarrassed as fuck over her big screaming mouth but it wasn't like nobody here had ever heard anyone else getting it on before. He had always just shook his head at the offending party like they were old enough to know better and should have a little more common courtesy than that. Now he was one of them. Well, she was. He had a little more self control than that. He couldn't help but wonder who was on ground duty down there. For the life of him he couldn't remember.

"Daryl?"

He looked up once he had his feet shoved back into his boots. She was on her knees wearing nothing but her tank top pulled down as far as it would go. He knew what she was looking for before she even said anything. "I kicked'em off the edge. I'll keep watch if you wanna run down and grab'em."

She gaped at him.

He shook his head, the corner of his mouth turning up. Without a word he disappeared through the door, leaving her sitting there, probably red faced and frowning. He grinned at the image. When he stepped out he saw his shirt right away and scooped it up. He was buttoning it when he came around the side of the tower, scanning the ground for her jeans.

He stopped when his eyes landed on two pairs of boots. He scowled as his eyes followed the legs up, not wanted to meet the eyes of either person standing in front of him.

He held out his hand and motioned for Rick to hand over the jeans that he was holding. Glenn stood next to him, neither was doing a very good job of keeping a straight face. He felt like his face was going to catch fire and he couldn't help but imagine punching them both.

"I...er... I heard you and Carol managed to work things out," Glenn said as he gave Daryl a tight smile.

Rick held off for all of three seconds before a laugh escaped his own tight lipped grinned, making a loud raspberry sound and nearly blowing spit on his shirt.

"Jesus, give me the goddamn jeans," Daryl went to snatch them from Rick's hand but Rick pulled away quickly.

Glenn was grinning from ear to ear now, looking from Rick back to Daryl.

"Give me. The goddamn. Jeans, Rick," he growled.

With a sigh Rick handed over the jeans and took a cautious step back. Daryl wanted the ground to open up and swallow him whole. He jabbed a finger in their direction. "You two keep your mouths shut."

Glenn nodded. "Sure thing Daryl. But you might want to tell her that."

Daryl scowled and turned around, stomping towards the door. Damn it, Carol. He made his way up the stairs noisily. This had not been a good idea. Well, it had been an incredible idea, but he wished that he would have taken it inside instead of out there. What had he been thinking? He hadn't been and he guessed that was the point. When he opened the door she was still sitting there on her knees but her hand was covering her mouth. She looked more embarrassed than he felt.

"Oh my God," she hissed as she snatched the jeans from him and hurriedly slipped them on. "This is horrible."

He kind of felt bad for her, actually. She kind of didn't have much self control at the time and he had actually spurred her on on purpose in the hopes that some man that she wasn't even with would hear her. Jealousy was an ugly thing. It made people do things they normally wouldn't do, that was for damn sure.

They still had a while yet before their shift was over. He wasn't sure what tomorrow was going to bring. Probably a lot of whispers and gossip for a while but he could handle it. He thought so anyway. They talked very little for the rest of their shift, falling into the comfortable silence that they were both used too.

He thought a lot about what Rick had said and he felt like he had made the right decision. This world was hard. Harder than it used to be. It was easy to lock yourself away in a bubble and keep the world out just to save yourself the pain of losing them. But that didn't make much sense now that he really thought about it. What was the point in living at all if you lived your life that way?

He felt her head on his shoulder after a while but he knew she wasn't asleep. He felt bad about everything he had done. The way he had treated her like a stranger for the last few months but tomorrow was a new day, this was a new experience and even if something happened to either one of them, at least he could say that he said what needed to be said. There wasn't room in this world for regrets.


End file.
